A Day of Epiphanies

I am calling Wednesday the Day of Epiphanies. This blog entry may be helpful to you as well.

Epiphany #1
I am in a few tarot groups. Through I don’t really participate in them as I am a lurker as they say, but dealing with my son kinda puts a damper on a few things, I am very intrigued by posts made in them. One was about your birth cards. Mine are X The Wheel & I The Magician. Another person took it a step further & said she adds her sun sign card into the mix. When I do that I get IX The Hermit. That card sums me up perfectly as I am a hermit in many ways. I love solitude. I love being alone. People drain me to beyond capacity. Especially those who aren’t real inside & real on the outside. Which leads me to the next epiphany.

Epiphany #2
I took advantage of a free e-book from Hay House from Kyle Gray, “Raise Your Vibration: 111 Practices to Increase Your Spiritual Connection” & a lot of things just clicked for me. The people I surround myself with. Who understand me & doesn’t. Who respects my boundaries & who doesn’t. My vibe attracts my tribe & my vibe attracts others to me. Which lead to another epiphany. Since having my son, people have came out from my past to get back into my life. Some give me great courage, others though give me nothing but discomforting energies. I notice when they come forth in my life. The ones that have been great are when I am feeling great about myself & my life. The ones that have giving me doubts are those who came forth in my life when I was down or felt depressed longer than I should have. The latter have been those who talk bad about someone & yet sugar coat with kindness to the person they are bad mouthing. Well..what could they be saying about me? Then there are those where I will say I am not on messenger for example & am needing my space & are sending me messages every few days. I said I am not on messenger for a few days, leave me alone please, & they don’t respect my boundaries. Then there are those who are always in the negative. Always being down. Always depressed. Which drains me in the process. Then there are those who have toilet humor & I am beyond that type of mentality. I just don’t care for crude jokes. Call me a prude, but it does nothing for me. I don’t even watch TV. Then there are those who have 2 or all of these behaviors.  So this has been an indication to me that I need to do some cleaning on my friends list & block. I need to vibrate higher. Yes they will definitely be talking bad about me, but I don’t care. I am being selfish & doing this for me. To raise myself higher with those that respect my boundaries & truly understand me. I am not who I was long ago, I am extremely different.

Epiphany #3
So I was doing some personal readings about 2018. I forgot about the year cards that were for 2017. My year tarot cards were XV The Devil & VI The Lovers. Lucky me. I didn’t know really the beginning of the year of 2017 what they would really mean, but now I do & the year is almost over. Do I choose to be bound or choose to be free? I chose to be bound majority of the year & that was due to my own making. I admit it. I was bound my materialism & unable to make choices for my business. I was engulfed with the energy exchange principle. How much should I charge? Am I charging right? Should I do the average of what others are charging? Am I aligned with spirit if I charge this amount or this amount? I was struggling. I had to break free from that talk. Go with what felt right to charge & make sure it fit what I needed to make PLUS fit me spiritually. Average seemed key here & worked. Plus I was hiding my true self. I need for her to come forth & be alive again.

My cards for 2018 are XVI The Tower & VII The Chariot. No matter how much it collapses in front of me, I need to take the reigns, have determination & confidence within myself to make things work. So here I come 2018.

Conclusion:
Things are coming forth in my life. I am realizing a lot. I am learning a lot. I am embracing a lot. I am a continuous project that needs fine tuning. I will get there. I also hope that this advice helps some of you as well.

 

Cleaning Out the Cobwebs

I have been feeling stuck in a rut for a long ass time. I have been wanting to know how to get out of this rut. I feel lost mostly. That I am not moving forward or behind. The 2 of Swords kind of feeling. Stuck in a limbo of existence. Unknown which way to move that would help me move forward. My life isn’t as magical as it used to be. I feel like I have hit a brick wall. I knew I needed some change. I need a new outlook on life. I need to declutter myself too. I have felt this way for years so it isn’t with the birth of my son. This is just a dwindling feeling of being stuck. The path is just unclear for me to move on.

I have been trying to see the bright side of life. To try to appreciate the joys, even small, instead of focusing on the negative. It has helped some, but there really hasn’t been a huge change. I decided to try to read up on ways to improve my life. Ways to help me see & clean up what feels stagnant energy. I want to be my authentic, free spirit self, but also have fear of being that way. I never used to feel this way before. It has been almost 3 years since I have felt so unlike “me”. I feel caged in. Helpless. Confused. I try different things, different ways. Where did the person go that I was like 3 years ago? Why did my confidence deplete?

I have been getting some guidance sent to me in form of messages that I am going to be working on implementing.
First one is being a vegetarian. There are some reasons why I have felt compelled to do this. Meat has been making me sick as of late. It doesn’t have the satisfying taste as it used to. Plus I have been wondering if I am absorbing the energies from the meat as it does make me feel sad at times or I feel full of anxiety. I have become really sensitive to things. It is hard to be a vegetarian when your partner is a meat eater. I am slowly transitioning to this lifestyle as I can.

Second, I am just letting go of those that are toxic. I’m just tired. I don’t care for gossip. I don’t care for toilet humor. I don’t care for making fun of others. I need those in my life that I can have a deep connection with. I blame myself because I just don’t want to reach out to anyone either. It is like the human race just has no empathy or emotion. They are only interested in themselves or what they get out of the deal instead of caring for others as a whole. We have went from a WE complex to a ME complex. I have just felt a huge disconnection with people. Let them fall off of my life & the ones that want to stay can stay. Engage my senses. Look at the deeper meanings of what life gives you. Explore your mind more. In some ways I feel like I have become a prude, in others I feel like I have grown. I’m just tired of not feeling fulfilled. In all honesty, I want to cut everyone off. EVERYONE. Well except my small family. Majority of the time I am rolling my eyes at people, at links shared, at gossip, at basically everything. Why can’t we just be appreciative of the simple things we have in life? Who cares what the Joneses are doing? Blah!

Last, working on me. That in itself is a challenge on its own. Especially when I am lost & don’t know which direction I should head to. I feel empty mostly. I feel as though I have no one to really talk to. I know there are those that say “Well you can come to me?” But no. I have changed too much for them to understand. Some have come back into my life that have been missing for so many years and the only reason they came back to me is when they found out I had a baby. I swear you have a baby & people show up out of no where! Family, ex friends, even ex lovers! I don’t know WHY they come back. I have those that just stalk my shit constantly. Am I that hard to just get rid of?  Want to know what Brandy is up to today? LMAO! I’m interesting I guess. Which makes me really wonder if I do embody the Queen of Wands. I see her as someone who has a magnetic personality, confident, bold, with the hint of magic & a mysterious soul. Maybe that is it. So I keep the real me inside. Locked up. Caged. Swallowed the key. I only write in my journal when I feel I need to. Now I know I probably pissed a bunch of people off & I am cool with that. Speaking the truth here. I have become so damn blunt with what I say anymore I just don’t care. People want me to be authentic, well here ya go. LMAO!

My main goal is to create a magical life for myself. To live my authentic me. To go back to how I used to be in a sense that I just let go of things & became a free spirit. So far it is a slow process, but it is something I am working on. A change from within. Which I also blame why I have distant myself from others too. I need me. I can’t block all completely, sadly, as that is what I want to do. To turn off the outside so I can work on the inside, but I don’t know how long that will take me & some I have to keep tabs on.

So this is what I am working on right now. Step by step. Little by little.

A Visit from Archangel Azrael

Last week I did a challenge in a group I am in about becoming more confident in attaining money doing what you love in the spiritual work community. There was a meditation where we were to access our ancestors to help heal the poverty mindset that happens at times. In the meditation there was a huge tree that represented my family, my ancestors. It was very powerful & made me cry as well. During this meditation Archangel Azrael came forth to me, wrapped his arms around me to comfort me during this process. To help heal the grief that was there during this meditation. This was the first time I felt his presence & seen him. Black robe, but white wings, older gentleman face, white hair, tan like skin. He was very comforting. It was an experience I will not forget.

I feel he looked this way for me to recognize who he was. I feel his form is really a bit different than I gave a description for, but that is how he appeared to me.

I never felt so alive & better till that incident with him. Definitely calling upon him for matters of Ancestor work to help heal the grieving.

Tarotscopes for December 2017

Salutations everyone.

I am using Angel Tarot Cards for December 2017 Tarotscopes.

ARIES:
XIX The Sun
Success is in the palm of your hand, Aries. It is important to have confidence within yourself as well. You will be shining bright & there will be those that will see you in the darkness that need your light. Help those who seek your aid as that will help your Karma.

TAURUS:
XIV Balance
It is important to find your sweet spot this month. You may need to work on adding a little bit of this & that to test the waters in order to find that balance. Keep your head up & know you are working on creating the perfect life for you & your loved ones.

GEMINI:
7 of Air
There is more going on in your life than meets the eye. Someone may try to use you for their own benefit. It is important right now to fly under the radar to not be seen. Make sure your plans for this month are good & solid as they may need a revision.

CANCER:
2 of Air
Things seem to not be moving for you in the best way. You need to just make a choice & stick with it without any doubt. Don’t pretend that there isn’t a problem when there is. Work on finding a solution that will help you in the long run.

LEO:
I The Magician
You are ready to make your life magical. To create the life you really seek within. Be who you are. Put your intentions out there to the universe so you have help in making your dreams a reality. You have the resources to accomplish this if you look hard enough.

VIRGO:
Queen of Earth
It is important to balance career & family so you can nurture those you care about. Deal with anything that comes your way with kindness & understanding. Being mad doesn’t help the situation. This is also a possibly time of fertility & abundance. Be thoughtful.

LIBRA:
2 of Earth
You may be juggling too much right now. Try to find a spin of humor in the situation to make things easier for you and those around you. You may also be having issues making choices. The main thing here is to do what makes your heart flutter & sing. That is the choice you need to make.

SCORPIO
8 of Air
Stop feeling trapped! Find your confidence & get out of your comfort zone or else the world won’t move for you. You will remain stagnant & afraid. Take action in your life now. Let go of what others may think & move forward in your path. You will regret it as you get older.

SAGITTARIUS
King of Fire
Be a leader! Start that business! Go after your desires! Focus on your dreams & goals this month. Take those ambitions and make them work for you. Your charismatic nature will attract the business you need to succeed. It will also help you be abundant for December.

CAPRICORN
Knight of Water
Prepare for love or for your current love to rise! Maybe even a wedding proposal may come forth this month. It is also important to balance emotions at this time. You may also feel a bit more spiritual than normal or in the holiday season a lot more than you may have in the past. Enjoy the joy it brings.

AQUARIUS
2 of Fire
You hold the world in your hands. You can accomplish anything you set your mind to in your business & personal lives. You just got to stop holding the world & move forward. You may also experience new love or a new partnership in business as well, but I feel the latter is more up your alley.

PISCES
XV Ego
Stop being negative. You are attracting what you don’t want. You are attracting doubts & despair in your life. It is important to let go & get rid of this false sense of being trapped. That noose is loose so allow freedom to reign. Let go & be your true self. Be free, be confident, be you & allow opportunities to rain on you.

It’s a Win-Win!

I have a lot to blog about, so in the next few days expect to get some insight that I have discovered within myself as of late.

I want to talk about, however, recent events. Hayhouse is having a huge $7/deck sale that ends today. I bought a few. The Guardian Angel Tarot (yes I know over power of sweetness, but I am hoping it will help in relationship readings where things are very sensitive, plus I love vintage art), Angels of Abundance, & Talking to Heaven (as I want to work on mediumship so I am hoping this can spark the flame). Anyway I purchased these decks as it was a calling to do so. Then last night as I dreamed this card appeared to me. I didn’t know the meaning of the card other than it was the same as XIV Temperance. So I looked it up & this is what it said. I take that as a win for buying these decks.

I still have to purchase my friend’s deck she has as I am saving slowly for that one. Unexpected bills got in the way & I kept getting a pull to get these decks so we shall see.

Things are going in a positive direction for December which I am thanking the universe for.

Like I said I have more to talk about which I will in due time.

Have a great weekend & a wonderful start for the month!